The Dawn of Twilight
by luckymish27
Summary: Ethan, the guardian of the garden of Eden disobeys and is cursed to crave blood for all of his days. He longs for a companion and eventually finds and transforms Adina and tells her his story as the first vampire.
1. A Companion

I was intrigued by Edward and Bella's conversation about how vampires first came about. This is the story I came up with, following along with Stephanie Meyer's more religious based approach to the tale. I try to follow the account of Genesis as much as is possible and I hope I will be forgiven for any changes I make. I am trying to remain as faithful as I can while still allowing myself creative license.

I am not sure how long I will continue the tale or if I want any of the Twilight characters to appear, but who knows. We shall see how devoted I become to writing the story.

But here we go. Enjoy!

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A Companion

The moon was shining brightly and the air was cool, not that he could feel any differences in temperature. He had been watching the girl, what was her name? Ah yes, Adina. How fitting for such a small woman. She certainly was beautiful, even to a fallen one such as him; perhaps even more so because of her obvious innocence and purity. What is more desirable than what has been lost and can never be regained? He had been watching her for months on end. Of course he had to be careful about it. If anyone should begin to suspect what he was, he would have to move on. He had no real animosity towards these pitiful beings, in their mundane lives, working to achieve goals that would eventually end in nothing. He was even a little jealous of the simplicity of it. They at least had hope. What could he claim? His life stretched forth before him in countless days with no end in sight. And if the end did come, could he suppose there was anything afterwards? For these creatures, maybe, but for him? Who could give an answer here on this planet? There was One who could certainly put the question to rest, but it was beyond his power to ask and he was sure there would be no reply if it was him that was asking. There was a time when he could have asked such questions. Not that he would have thought to do so or even known there would be a time when that knowledge would have helped. Regardless, his fate was set and how could he place another in the same, possibly hopeless, situation.

"There she is," he breathed.

He closed his eyes in ecstasy; even looking at her was complete bliss. Hurriedly opening them again, he watched as she moved about the room, moving in and out of his limited view through the doorway. As he watched her move gracefully around the small room he felt the faint whisperings of hope. If he could only have a companion to put an end to his solitary existence, feeding off the life of others, maybe then he would be less of a monster. He thought of his attempts to escape his fate and shuddered, rethinking his idea. Could he possibly condemn another to share his life? Especially one such as this? This gentle creature who had done nothing to deserve to become a monster.

He shook off the disconcerting questions. She was all alone in the house. He had watched the others leave earlier. They would be back soon though, it was getting late. Out of lonely desperation, he made his decision…

After three days of excruciating fire and pain the young woman was finally able to form coherent thoughts. The only clear idea she had been able to process for the past three days was that she wanted to die. She recalled screaming incessantly, not that it had helped in the least. Vague memories that she had barely been conscious of while the pain had taken control of her body slowly began to come into sharper focus. The man had appeared out of nowhere. One moment she had been sure nobody had been in the room and the next he had been right beside her. At first she had been too surprised to react and all she could do was to stare in openmouthed surprise. And after the first glance, she was even more shocked. Instead of being dark-skinned and tan from the sun, he was instead very pale. It looked like he had never seen the sun in all his life but she could also see that he was extremely beautiful. She had tried to scream for help as his hands closed around her but he had made sure no sound could escape her lips. He seemed exceptionally strong for he had no trouble carrying her. She was not extremely heavy, but she was a fully grown woman nonetheless. It was also apparent that he was being very gentle with her, for though she was very securely restrained and could not move, he was in no way physically harming her. She could hear what sounded like rushing wind all around and then dead silence. And into that silence a beautiful voice spoke.

"I am sorry."

And the pain had begun. It started in her neck, flames licking through her veins. The fire in her neck was quickly followed by points near her wrists and ankles. Her mind automatically tried to reject the pain, a pain more intense than she had ever known. She wanted to pass out, as she had as a young girl when she fell and broke her arm, but she was denied the even the release of nothingness. Instead of blacking out, she felt the pain intensify even more. As the fire spread, she could feel a scream building inside her.

What was happening? How had this happened? Why…?

A shriek tore from her throat, lasting a lifetime. Or was it just a moment? Her existence became wrapped with the fire. There was nothing before and there was nothing to come. Just an endless fiery hell that had no escape. Maybe that was it. Maybe she had died and gone to hell. That was not supposed to happen! She had served God all her life, followed all the teachings of her father, a priest. She could not have gone to hell. But what other explanation did she have? Cast into the lake of fire and brimstone to burn for all eternity…that's certainly what this felt like. Her screaming continued at the horror of what she faced.

After a life age, she became aware of a change. She had been screaming for so long that she knew her throat should feel completely raw, but had not feel anything beyond the fire that consumed her. The change began in her extremities, first in her fingers and toes and spreading in towards her center. The pain was still there in its entirety, but focused in different areas. Like a fire burning through wood and leaving a ring of ashes around it, she could feel a coolness spreading in towards her heart. But, as with the coals left in the center of the fire as it dies, her chest became even hotter than the flames that had seared through her before. Ever so slowly did the fire retreat, concentrating in her heart. She was aware of her surroundings now, realizing that this could not be her eternal judgment. Even as she began to hope, she continued to scream for death through the pain. Nothing had ever, nor could ever equal the intensity of the flaming inferno in her heart. Her heart was pounding in a frenzied beat, speeding up until she thought it would burst.

Finally the fire had ceased except for a last remaining burn in the back of her throat. She slowly opened her eyes to find the man with a tortured look on his face.

"I am sorry."Again the words in that beautiful voice, that continued to retain its musical quality despite the anguished tone.

"Who are you?"

She studied his face in the long pause, seeing the desperation, longing, and another expression that she could not seem to identify playing across his features.

"You can call me Ethan."


	2. Disbelief

I originally did not plan on putting this section in, but I thought it felt a little strange jumping straight into Ethan's story without some sort of initial introduction of the two of them together. It's rather short and I wrote it rather quickly so I didn't put a whole lot of thought into it. Sorry! I hope it's satisfactory. I might change it later after I finish the section I was in the middle of writing.

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Disbelief

She could not believe what she was hearing. This man was trying to tell her she was a what?

There were a few legends of those that drank blood, rumors floating around on occasion, mostly dealing with small towns where the inhabitants just disappeared, leaving the survivors to speculate as to the reason. Mostly it was just explained away as a curse on the town for some supposed wrongdoing on the part of its residents. Sometimes travelers would claim to have seen the attackers, saying they came at night, swiftly and silently, leaving no trace of their existence behind except for a bloodless corpse. These stories were discounted as just that, stories, told by mothers to frighten children into obedience and nothing more.

How could this be true? How could she have become one of them?

The sadness in the man's eyes, if man he was, seemed to say that he was not lying. And he kept apologizing over and over, for the pain she went through, for the confusion she was going through, and for the pain he seemed to think she would go through in the future. None of what he said made any sense to her.

After he had told her his name, and apologized profusely, he had proceeded with the most bewildering of statements. "You are no longer human." What was that supposed to mean?

And yet…

She certainly did not feel as she had before. Her mind felt as if it had expanded and she was very aware that her body did not feel the same at all. She moved to sit up and was shocked to find she was already up. But hadn't she just been lying on her back? She looked warily at her new companion.

"I truly am sorry." He must have said that at least five hundred times at this point and it was getting old.

"I do not understand," I said cautiously, not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer.

"Let me explain. From the beginning."


	3. In the Beginning

I do not own anything Twilight related.

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**In the Beginning**

The garden really was beautiful, in a primitive, fragile kind of way. I guess compared to the rest of this planet it was paradise. When He tried to describe it and prepare me for the change, I still did not understand. Even if He had gone on for an age, not that time had any relevance with me then, I never would have been prepared for that first onslaught of simple earthly beauty. The colors were different from any I had experienced before. They were very bright and took some getting used to. And who knew that things could be so breakable? My body was strong, even stronger than the rocks in this world. I reveled in the perfection that was my form. I had seen the humans and they were nothing compared to me. A little lower than the angels had, in my mind, made a big difference. My skin was white and sparkled in the sun, a warning to any with thoughts of entering the garden. My muscles were perfectly formed and they rippled under the hard, smooth skin. I was perfect.

I think I was young at the time. Young, that is, in regards to how long I had existed. I don't believe any of us in the beginning were ever really young in the true sense of the word.

When He charged me with my task of guarding the garden, I was fully intent on keeping with my duty. I had nothing against these weak human beings that were made in His image; they had done nothing to me. He made the decision to send them out of the garden and so I was charged with keeping them from reentering. Simple duty on my part. He was in charge of everything and it was perfect. I was in no position to see things otherwise.

The Other might have decided that he wanted the glory, but far be it from me to want the same. I was happy with my lot. To desire anything else never occurred to me.

It was perfectly understandable that the humans would desire to come back the garden if they had the chance. It really was the most beautiful place on the earth and I have never seen its equal here, in all my wanderings. He never told me why the humans were sent away. Looking back now, I would guess He did not want me to be tempted from the beginning and to fail at the same test that caused them to fall. A lot of good that did. If He had only warned me of the danger I was in, I would not have been so confident. I might have been able to see the trap for what it was; instead, I was just as gullible as the human creatures.

It was not my fault I had not been warned.

Or so that's what I try to tell myself.

I never left my post at the east side of the garden and my devotion never wavered. I do not know when it was that the serpent first came to me. I still had not quite grasped the concept of the counting of days and years to measure the progression of time. I never really needed to pay attention to it, since time has never had any effect on me. It did not seem like much time had passed before he found me. It could have been days or months or even years for all I knew. I was in the same place as always, at the east entrance, holding my sword, when I heard the voice. It seemed innocent enough, soft and rather pleasant. I looked around and there twined in a small bush beside me was a bright green serpent. I had no need to fear any of the creatures of this strange world I had been placed in, so I was not on my guard.

"Why do you stand here day after day in this place? Does it not become tedious with nothing else to do?"

"This is my duty," I said, rather confused by his wording. Tedious? I knew the word, but the concept was foreign to me. I had never understood the meaning behind it.

"I see. And is this duty really important, keeping these human creatures out of this particular garden? I do not see why this place should be any more special than anywhere else."

"It is very beautiful here. They may wish to return from the outside." Why was he asking me these questions? I was only doing my task set forth for me.

"Beautiful?" The serpent was sneering at me by this time. "Ha, I guess it depends on what you are looking for. What is your punishment if any of those pitiful things sneaks back in?"

"Punishment?" My brows lowered as I tried to comprehend his meaning. I was really confused by now. Why would I be punished for something that was not going to happen?

"Yes. Punishment, you know, the consequence if you fail your duties?"

"There is no punishment. They won't get back in."

"Well is there a reward, then? Something that you get in return for keeping them out?"

What was this serpent talking about? It made no sense whatsoever. Punishments? Rewards? At the time I lacked the understanding of these abstract notions. Why did I need anything to stop me from slacking my duty? It was my duty, therefore I did it. Anything else just seemed absurd. He must have seen my confused face for he continued on, sounding amused.

"I see I have lost you. Oh well. I will leave you to your duty. I don't want to cause you any trouble."

I watched as he slid smoothly to the ground and slithered away, green scales glinting faintly in the sunlight, pondering his confusing words. I sighed quietly and soon gave up trying to understand. No point in getting frustrated over something that really didn't seem to matter anyway. I went back to guarding the entrance, determined to forget what the serpent said. Little did I know how significant our talk would turn out to be…

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Please review and tell me what you think! Any suggestions to improve would be greatly appreciated, as would any praise you want to give… :-P

Seriously though, I would love to hear from you.


	4. The Curse

Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related nor am I an expert in Biblical interpretation. I am taking a lot of things out of context and adding many parts to this story that have absolutely no reference in the Bible whatsoever. I hope everyone will take this story as it was meant to be taken. I mean no disrespect to the original works that I am building off of and I certainly would never want to lead people to believe that any part of this is based on historic interpretations of the Bible.

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**The Curse**

The serpent came day after day. Sometimes we talked for a long while, other times he only gave a cursory greeting before going on his way. He told me stories.

"Do you know what happened to the humans?"

"No. They must have done something terrible though. What other reason would they be thrown out of the garden for?"

"Terrible?!? Ha! Don't make me laugh. You are so caught up on God being such a good and great being. Let me tell you something. He's not."

My eyes widened as I gasped. What he said was blasphemy. "Stop! Do not say such things!"

"Once you hear the story, you will see what I mean."

Despite the warnings I felt, I was curious as to the reason the humans had been banished from the garden. I had wondered what they had done that was so horrible. I debated for a brief second and curiosity won out over better judgment. "What happened?"

"Well, it started with the woman. She was talking to me one day inside the garden and we got on the subject of the forbidden tree. She said that God commanded that she and the man were not even allowed to touch the fruit on the tree or they would die. I told her that she would surely not die, for God only commanded them not to eat of that tree because if they did, they would become like Him. God did not want them to have that much knowledge and power, for he did not want to contend with man. He made man in His image, but that was as far as He went. He refused to allow man to reach his full potential by not giving him His own wisdom. The woman realized what I was saying made sense so she decided to eat the fruit. She seemed a little hesitant to touch it at first, but when she didn't get struck dead when she picked it, she proceeded to eat it. She then gave it to the man and he ate it as well."

"What happened then?"

"That was it. God came down, found them in the garden after they made clothing for themselves because they were naked. The man blamed it on the woman; she blamed it on me. As if I had forced her to do anything. But naturally the brunt of the blame was put at my feet. Ha," he said bitterly, "that was back when I still had feet. That was the first part of my curse. Anyway, so the only reason they got kicked out was because they had eaten a bite of fruit and tried to cover themselves with some leaves because they realized they were naked. What kind of great God would curse those He made in His own image for such a minor offense?"

"Well," I said hesitantly, "He did tell them not to eat from the tree."

"But to curse them the way He did? And to curse me, an innocent bystander? Where is the justice in that? He took away my legs and cursed me above all the other animals on earth. There is no reason for me to be punished for telling them the truth about the tree. I never forced them to do anything."

Again, I was hesitant to agree with his logic, but his arguments were beginning to sound really good. If only I had known that the time how much the real truth of the story had been stretched. I was too trusting however, and had no inclination to doubt his words. Why did this serpent seem bent on destroying all my certainty? He caused me to question everything I been so sure about before.

How could God, who claimed to be pure Love, do such a thing His most favored creation? He had said man was created a little lower than my kind, the angels. I could not understand how a seemingly minor transgression could have such disastrous consequences for the offender. I realized that through my ponderings, the serpent had been talking.

"I see I have caused you a lot of thought, so I will leave you to that for now."

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"I'm sure you can at least walk around in the garden though, right?"

It had been a long time since I heard the serpent's story about the human's banishment and the serpent never brought the subject up again. Despite this, I could not stop thinking about it.

"Walk around in the garden?" I asked, bemused. Nothing the creature said made sense anymore.

"Yes. Did God say you cannot walk in the garden?"

"No. But He told me to guard the entrance, which I assume means I should stay here."

"Well I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. Nobody is around so I am sure you can take a few minutes to at least see what you are guarding."

I looked inside the entrance and saw the bright colors and the small creatures scurrying around. It did look nice. Maybe I could go look without causing any trouble. The serpent did have a point, there was nobody to be seen or heard for miles. I listened again just to be sure. There was an argument between a father and son about gathering wood for the fire but they were at least five miles away and very faint. I heard no other sounds but the rustlings and goings on of animals above and below ground getting ready for the sun's disappearance. After one last glance, I turned around and went through the entrance, my sword in hand.

For this planet, it really was extremely beautiful, the lush plants with their delicate flowers and fruits. Everything was just so green. I knew I should hurry and only take a quick look around before I went back. This was not part of my duty. I needed to go back. The serpent stayed by my side though and assured me everything was fine. If someone tried to come in, I would hear them before they got very far. I was comforted by this thought and decided to slow down. In the center of the garden there were two magnificent trees. They were unlike anything I had seen before. Nothing else in the garden even compared to the beauty I saw before me there.

"You know, you probably would not be banished from the garden if you ate the fruit."

"Why would I want to eat the fruit?"

"Because then you would be wiser and more knowledgeable than even the humans. You would know the answers to the questions that you seek." How did he know I had questions? I wondered if he was right though, that the fruit really would answer the questions I had been asking myself since the story.

"I don't know that I should…" It felt all wrong. Why did this creature insist on asking me unsettling questions and forcing me into uncomfortable situations?

"I'm sure God did not mean to deprive you of pleasure while you are here. What would it matter if you were to find the answers to you questions?"

I walked over and slowly, oh so slowly, reached out to take a piece of fruit with my free hand. Everything felt wrong but I didn't know why. I plucked the piece off, noting in some back corner of my mind its smooth texture and firm skin, and took a bite before I had time to think too much about it.

As soon as I sank my teeth in everything didn't just feel wrong anymore. Everything was wrong. Knowledge flooded into my head. I had answers, but not to the questions I had been asking. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I should never have left my place on the east side of the garden. Now it was too late. Right after I swallowed the bite my hand was on fire. The flaming sword was burning through my rock-like flesh and sending up a horrible black smoke. I screamed, dropped the sword, and stared at my hand. The beautiful smooth white skin was replaced with blackened ash. With the new thoughts in my head, I wanted my perfect body back. I knew it was wrong and that I should be worried about other things, such as what He would do to me once He found out what I had done, but I could not help it.

I realized then that the serpent was hissing at me. "Eat from the other tree and you will be whole again. It is the tree of life and your body and mind will be perfect again if you but take one bite from its fruit. You've already gone the same path as the human creatures, why not be better than them? You can live forever and strip them of their privileged place if you but follow me."

I realized then who the serpent was. The Other. Lucifer, as I had known him. I had been deceived. Or had I only wanted an excuse to be deceived? I couldn't remember now. All I knew was that I wanted to live and to be whole. I did not want to follow the deviant Other. He was true evil, I could see that it now that I had eaten of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. There was absolutely nothing good in this creature. But I did so want to have my hand back. I reached up and grabbed the fruit, noticing its most enticing scent at the same time, some combination of the exotic flowers surrounding me and something else, something almost otherworldly in its loveliness, and took the second bite.

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I remember the curse He placed on me. I knew I deserved it. How could I not? I had gone against His will and now I needed to be punished. Why did He let me live? At the time I was grateful, but now I have realized that the erasing of my existence would have been more merciful, had He chosen to do so.

**Cursed are you, even above man! You will crave blood all the days of your existence, no longer a guardian but a hunter, and fire will bring your ruin. Your kind will increase on earth only through pain; your desire will be for companionship but through this you will hurt the ones you love. There will be enmity between you and man forever; each kind will hunt the other until the end of days. Because you have eaten from the tree of life, your days will be endless, stretching on before you forever; no relief in sight. You will forever be tormented by hunger but…**_**you can choose**_**.**

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I am sorry the chapters are so short. I don't know if I will write longer ones eventually, but for the moment, this is the best break up of chapters that I can come up with.

Please review and tell me what you think!


	5. Monster

**Monster**

I began to wander, not really searching for anything besides another fate. An impossible pursuit from the start, but I had nowhere to go. Nothing to live for. I had no home, for after I left, the garden was destroyed along with the two trees. If even the angels were susceptible to the call of the fruit, no one could be trusted.

My throat burned constantly and I knew I needed nourishment. The only thing that smelled appealing to me was the humans. In the initial bloodlust I felt, I could barely control myself. I put it off as long as possible, but I felt I could not postpone the inevitable forever. Eventually I was on the hunt and nothing could stop me. I smelled my prey and some new instinct took care of the rest. I found a human alone in a field and took him.

It was a horrendous experience. I saw the fear and pain in his eyes as I took his life; watched both drain into the nothingness of death, leaving only a dull glassy look behind.

I dropped the dead carcass, horror-struck.

_**I was a monster. **_

Sorry this chapter is so short! I'm working on the next chapter and it's proving to be longer than I expected. I'm still kinda iffy as to whether I actually should post this one yet without any more work on it but I'm going for it. Please be patient! And you can review in the meantime and let me know how this chapter worked for you! :-P

P.S. – If anyone has any Biblical stories or otherwise recorded ancient history that they want to suggest that I add, go for it! I'm looking for ideas. I'm planning on mentioning the flood… Anyway, let me know!


	6. Nowhere to Hide

Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related, which is why I have almost nothing related to Twilight in my story…

In other news, I have now discovered how to name chapters on the little scroll down menu thingy! Go me!

So that means I don't have to remember to put it at the top of each section. Yay!

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After that first feeding, I ran. I ran from my fate. I ran from the loneliness. I ran from the temptation of human blood. I did not stop running because I found I did not have to stop. I had retained my strength from my previous life. I realized that I had unwittingly become the world's best predator. Unfortunately this made it even worse. To catch and kill anything in the world was absolutely effortless for me. The problem was that I did not want to catch anything. What kind of twisted sense of humor did God have? Everything about my curse seemed designed to torture me.

Running away only solved the problem of smelling human blood. I hoped that if I did not smell it, the temptation would be easier to resist. In a way it helped, but I could not erase the memory of relief from my parched throat, the sweet blood cooling the burn as I drank. Again, even this memory brought its own form of torture, for remembering the relief also brought to mind the look in the dead man's eyes.

No matter how far I ran, I could not run far enough to get away from the memories. No matter how fast I ran, my fate always followed close on my heels. I wanted to die, but I was afraid of death. Not necessarily of the actual act of dying, for how could anything be more painful than the life I was leading? No, I was afraid of what came after. Besides, I did not know how to kill myself. It did not matter how long I went without feeding, I didn't die. For months I tried to ignore the burn in my throat, but nothing could relieve it. I tried eating human food, digging up roots and stealing grain. Nothing strengthened me. Eventually I grew nearly crazy with thirst. The pain in my throat reached a level that was almost unbearable.

I had wandered far at this point and I had no idea where I was. I had not seen a living creature in days, not surprising considering all the animals could sense my presence and hid at the first sign that I was coming. I did not feel like running anymore. I did not feel like anything anymore. I lay curled up next to a small pool of water in the middle of a desert, trying to hide from my fate. I preferred the desert because the heat felt nice on my cold skin. I hid in the shade of a scrubby little tree growing beside the water, disliking the glitter of my skin in the sun, reminding me of more simple times.

"You are back, I see."

My whole body stiffened in reaction to that voice. Soft, unassuming, but no longer pleasant. Definitely not pleasant anymore. There was too much pain and guilt associated with this creature. Oh how I had hoped that I would never see or hear from him again. "What do you want?" My intended snarl came out sounding more like a whimper.

"I want to help you."

"I don't need your help!" I yelled. "You've already 'helped' quite enough, thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be like this!" My voice was losing its strength, trailing off into a whisper. "None of this would have happened…"

"You know you really shouldn't feel guilty, none of this is your fault."

"I know. It's yours," I snapped. Why didn't he just leave me alone? Was it not enough for him to have destroyed me so completely, now he had to come back and remind me of it? As if I could forget.

"You keep placing the blame on the wrong source. Who was it that cursed you to this fate? Who left you with no other options?"

I didn't answer.

"I believe that would be the 'God of Love' that did this to you," he scoffed. "You have no reason to fight this. Don't feel guilty for what He made you become. If you do, you are just allowing Him to have even more power over you. You are better than this! You could be glorious, ruling over the whole earth. Nations would fall at your feet, bowing before your majesty. All you need to do is seize the opportunity that is placed before you. You are a model of perfection!* Truly a god among men. Your beauty is magnificent and your wisdom is great. Just because He decided you were no longer worthy does not mean that you are not. He just wanted to eliminate the competition."

I was barely listening to the serpent anymore. What could he have to say to me that was of any importance now? He had already said way too much long ago and I had listened, with disastrous consequences.

A small breeze started up, disturbing the sand around me. I watched the grains swirl around in the air, captivated by the beauty in the patterns forming and scattering. At times like this, I could not help but wonder at the beauty of this world, almost forgetting the burn in my throat that was the sign of what I had become.

Suddenly the breeze shifted and I shot away from the peaceful oasis without thinking, the snake left behind, forgotten, but wholly satisfied with this new turn of events.

The smell of a human was in the air and I had gone for so long without feeding that I could not have stop myself even if I had tried. I was going on pure instinct, flying over the sand towards that delicious scent.

I quickly found the small herd of goats near the edge of the desert and the young woman tending them. I slowed instinctively and stalked forward, not wanted to alert the animals to my presence. Not that it would have made a difference in whether I caught the human or not. I kept a good distance as I circled the herd to get to the woman. I felt a small a small prick of guilt as I closed in my prey. It was just a defenseless woman. Someone probably cared about her. What would her parents think when she did not come home? My own loneliness smacked painfully as I thought about the family she might have. I quickly pushed the thoughts away, too consumed by my thirst to try to deal with any other pain.

Still, I did not want to cause her any unnecessary pain, so once I had a clear path, I went for it. In less than half a second, I was by her side and I grabbed her. As I bent down for the bite, my gaze caught on her shocked expression. Again, the fear tore at my conscience. Again, I pushed the pain away and closed my eyes. If I couldn't see her pain, maybe it wouldn't be added to mine. She did not even have time to scream. Once I had finished, I lay the body down refusing to look at it in its pale and broken state. A wisp of her hair brushed my arm as I let her go and I felt like I had been burned.

Instead of feeling full, I felt completely empty. Not hungry, just hollow. As if all my insides had been removed while I was drinking, leaving gaping holes that refused to close.

I began running again. Maybe if I ran fast enough I could leave the pain behind, the pain that I had blocked out for a few minutes, trying to find peace. The problem was, in those few minutes, the pain had somehow managed to increase to excruciating proportions. I had murdered another human.

"Why God?" I couldn't hold the question in any longer. "Why did you make me this way? You could have just killed me! Why…?" I sank to the ground, unwilling or unable to move any further, I couldn't tell which. I felt paralyzed, my body no longer doing what my mind commanded. Or maybe it was my mind that had the problem. I had lost the ability to process anything other than the absolute horror at what I had become.

I didn't want to think anymore. If I couldn't think, I couldn't feel and if I couldn't feel, there would be no more pain. No matter how hard I tried, the thoughts kept pouring back into my mind. I would try to block one train of thought from going into more painful territory and ten more would crop up to take its place. The questions were the most agonizing. Why was I allowed to keep my life? If my existence could indeed qualify as a life, which I was inclined to doubt. How could I have been so stupid in the garden, not seeing the lies the serpent told me for what they were? I had allowed myself to be deceived. I realized that now. I had wanted the snake's words to be true, so I believed them without question. I could not lay the blame at any other door but my own.

I needed options. But what options were there for me?

All I knew was that I did not want to be a murderer.

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*Alluding to a Bible passage. If you can figure out what passage, it might give you a hint about a later plot development.

Aaahhhhhh!!! What's going to happen? What exactly _are_ Ethan's options at this point? That is the question! Anyway. It's kinda late and I'm getting a little silly, but I need to start writing chapter seven soon otherwise I am going to be way behind. Please, please, please review! I love hearing what you think and I will most likely reply. I love my friends, but I really like randomly talking to people I don't know online. It makes life interesting. So review!!


	7. The Experiment

I crept closer to the large herd of sheep as the sun sank lower in the sky, spreading its last dying rays across the land, bathing everything in a red glow. I still had a few hours left before I could put my plan into action. I had spent the last few days formulating a plan that I hoped would end at least some of my suffering. Maybe now I no longer needed to kill people, or at least I hoped that was the case. Just a few more hours and maybe I would have some answers.

The last shepherd's snores could be heard faintly above the soft rustling of the few sheep that remained restless under the stars. It was time.

I ran up to the nearest shepherd and delivered him a blow to the head, not hard enough to kill, just enough to knock him out for a short while. I knew that the next few moments would be the deciding factor in whether I would be able to carry out my plan. I only hoped I had enough control to follow through. I bent over the pulse in the man's neck and bit down. The warm, soothing blood flooded into my mouth. Immediately my throat cooled and I closed my eyes with pleasure. After a few seconds my eyes flew open. I needed to concentrate. No accidents. I had to stop. In just a moment…

I had to rip myself away from that first one. I had to keep control. He had lost a lot of blood. I hoped it wasn't too much. I moved on to the next man. This one was a lot easier, for I had already proved to myself that I could do it. In a matter of minutes I had completed the circle of six men and had returned to my starting point. I felt strong, full, and almost satisfied. My plan had been a success. I did not need in order to feed. Granted the victims were not exactly willing participants, but on the grand scale, what did that really matter?

And that's when the screaming started. The first man had begun to stir fitfully as he came to. Fitful stirrings became painful thrashings as he began to scream. Even as I began to come out of my shock at this new development, a chain reaction occurred among all the men around the perimeter of the herd.

What had gone wrong? Their hearts had been beating when I was finished and I was sure I had left enough blood in each of them to keep them alive. They certainly did not sound like they were dying, their screams growing louder by the second. We were far enough from any civilization that nobody would hear them. I had made sure of that when I scouted out the location for my experiment. I quickly ran around and gathered each of them up and lay them together. I didn't know what to do. Suddenly one man's shrieks formed into words.

"Kill me! Please, just kill me!"

I shuddered at the thought, trying to block out the sounds around me. Might it be more merciful to kill them, rather than allow them to endure such pain? As soon as the thought came, I pushed it away. I was too selfish to even consider it. I did not know if these men would die from whichever of my actions had caused this, but if there was hope for their survival, I would not be the one to destroy it. In doing so, I feared I might destroy myself for I still had no desire to be a monster, even though it now appeared that might be my only option.

Nothing I did seemed to be any help to the pain-laden men at all. They seemed completely unaware of their surroundings, even as I moved them and attempted to talk to them. I gave up trying to communicate, for they never gave any indication of hearing me. Occasionally I could distinguish a few words amongst the screeches. Usually they were begging for death, sometimes I would catch the words "fire" or "burning."

After what felt like days, the stars paled as the black sky faded to gray and finally the sun began to rise on the horizon. I could not justify to myself leaving the tortured men in the blackness of the night, even though I doubted they would have noticed. I just could not bring myself to be that selfish for I felt I deserved to hear their cries of pain since I was the one that caused them. Once it was light, however, I darted away as quickly as I could until they were no longer within earshot. Their cries echoed in my mind, but they were not quite as distracting as when I could still see the men. Able to think for the first time since the previous night, I pondered the meaning of what was happening. Perhaps I was venomous? I could think of no other explanation for what was happening. I knew certain animals were venomous and that their venom could cause the victim varying degrees of pain and even death, but I had never witnessed the results firsthand. Judging by the amount of pain the men were in, I figured they should probably be dead by now. Why they were not was a mystery. Perhaps the venom burned through the body until it was gone and the person would recover? I knew the only way to find the answer was to wait.

I slowly went forward again until I could just barely hear the cries in the distance. Somehow, even after yelling through the whole night, the volume had not diminished at all. I lay there, wishing for the human ability to push everything aside and succumb to the thoughtlessness of sleep. All I had ever wanted was a little bit of peace. At this rate, it did not look like I would ever have it.

On that third morning, I went back and looked at them. Over the course of the two days I had done cursory checks every few hours to see if there were any changes to the men's conditions. Until that third morning, they had seemed pretty much unchanged. This time was different though.

I stumbled back, horrified at what was happening. The healthy glow of their suntanned limbs had disappeared, replaced by pale skin. I bent forward to touch them and again reeled in shock. When I had picked the men up the other night to move them, their skin had been very warm and soft. Now I could not tell the difference between my temperature and theirs and the softness had become rock-hard.

I sat and watched for the rest of the day; waiting for an end that I knew would come soon. Just what exactly what that end entailed, I could only pray for the best. What the best was, at this point, I wasn't entirely sure. I tried to ignore the obvious signs of what was happening to the men. I fervently wished that they were on their way towards death, for I knew I could handle that consequence better than what I feared would be the outcome.

Near dusk, I noticed another slight change. Each of the men's hearts started racing at a deadly rate. It sounded as if they were about to explode. Maybe that was how all of this would end? Three days of excruciating torture in which the whole body is consumed by it, only to save the heart for last.

Another hour passed and the frantic heartbeats grew more erratic, each finally silencing after a last thud. This was the end. They were gone. My whole experiment was a complete failure and I had killed another six people.

I turned away in complete despair. I no longer cared about an afterlife. How could hell be any worse than the existence I had? And if there was no afterlife, at least there would be no torturous thoughts to plague me in my non-existence.

I heard small sounds of movement from behind me and I whirled around. I was face to face with six pairs of blood red eyes staring hungrily back at me.

"Oh God, what have I done?"

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Disclaimer: I lay claim to nothing that belongs to Stephanie Meyer but I would like to lay claim to a couple minutes of your time if you would be so kind as to review! Please? *puppy eyes*


	8. Accidental Army

Sorry it took forever to get this up. I am a rather spastic writer and if I'm not in the mood to write, everything just sounds really bad. I felt that I needed to post again though, so this is what I came up with. And I own nothing Twilight related.

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I stared in horror as they gazed back at me and I automatically sank into a defensive stance as one of them made to move forward. As soon as I moved, I realized I had made a mistake. All six of them reacted to my movement and mirrored my posture, a few snarling in anger. There was no way I could fight all six at once so I cautiously relaxed my pose, alert for any signs of attack. I had no idea what my next move should be. I still feared death and what would happen to me in that event, so though I knew these creatures should not exist, I also knew that if I made to attack, I would not survive the fight. I probably should have killed them during the change when they begged me to, but instead I had hoped that maybe they might recover.

Not only had I become a monster myself, now I was a creator of monsters, unleashing these horrors on the unsuspecting world. These things were once men, flesh and blood like the rest of their race. Now they were bringers of death, disguised as angels. My venom had worked through their bodies, changing them into something like me. Cold, white, hard. I knew without even having to test it that their strength was immense. Nothing in this world could compete.

Even as these thoughts ran through my head in less than a second, something happened. Almost before I even felt the first currents of air flowing around me, I knew what would happen. As the wind blew stronger, it brought with it the sharp, ……, smell of goats and that other irresistibly delicious scent of human blood. Six heads turned into the wind and completely forgetting my presence, they were gone. All I could do was follow and hope for an opportunity to interfere.

We reached the small village in a very short time and I watched in dismay as the scene unfolded before me. One of my creations would stalk up to the door of a hut and spring inside. Screams would erupt, soon waking all the rest of the villagers. One by one, the screams ceased inside the huts and the thing would come back out, clothing torn and blood spattered. Everything around me slowed down as I looked around, surveying the damage. Out of one of the doorways on my left, I saw a small child dart into the street, tears streaming down his small, brown, dirt-streaked face. As he ran, he looked behind him and his frightened eyes met my gaze. As soon as our eyes met, all my senses zeroed in on this child. As I stared, his warm brown eyes changed. For an instant, they became colorless, flat and glassy. The same eyes that had stared blankly out at me in another time and place. The same eyes that I had not been able to look at later, because I already knew what they looked like. I blinked and the rich brown returned.

Seconds later, the boy was followed by a figure looking like an avenging angel, only there was nothing to avenge. These people had done nothing wrong. Their only crime was in living where they did. What purpose did this serve, to have creatures of such destruction on earth? If God had been so intent on destroying His creation, certainly there were much more efficient ways of doing so.

I watched the angel-like figure tense to spring and without realizing it, I was on top of him, clawing at his face. He had turned halfway around when he sensed the danger but was not prepared for an attacker that could match his strength. Roaring in anger, he gripped one of my arms and attempted to throw me off. His effort was partially successful when, in his enormous strength, he wrenched my arm completely off. I could hear myself screeching in pain, but in spite of that, I was still able to process the curious sensation that followed. I could feel the pain of where it was severed, but I could also still feel my arm where it lay, some ten feet away. I could even move the fingers on it. While I was processing all of this, I had grabbed hold of my opponent's head and with a mighty heave it was severed from the rest of the body. Even with that, the body still fought on, but the attack blind and without direction. Because of this, I was quite easily able to dismember the rest of the body. I knew I would have to burn the body in order to truly destroy this being, for I remembered the curse. …_**Fire will bring your ruin**_.

Looking around, I could see the village was ruined. Huts were destroyed, tools smashed, fires scattered and raging out of control. No living humans could be seen. I watched as the last of my creations gave a fleeting look around and melted into the night without a backward glance.

Before I finished with my adversary, I located my missing arm. I was not exactly sure how to proceed so I picked the limb up and tried to fit it back into its original position. Twisting it with a sound like grating steel, it locked into place and I could feel the rock-like flesh knit itself back together until my body was whole again.

That finished, I picked up the pieces of the one creature I was able to kill and took them to one of the burning huts to throw in the flames. As I carried the last few pieces over, I saw a small broken body lying next to a stack of wood. The clothes were torn and bloodied, but the face was streaked with dirt. His eyes were no longer fearful, but nor were they anything else. Void of life and animation forever.

I felt again the vast emptiness inside of me. I stared into the flames, feeling the scorching heat on my face. It would be so easy. Probably painful, but that would be over fairly quickly. It wasn't that pain I was worried about. Could anything really be worse than the pain I felt now? Could the world possibly be better off with a creature like me in it? Would it not be better if my existence was erased? I would be missed by no one. If the humans actually knew that I existed, they would probably rejoice in my destruction. Even as these thoughts formed, scenes from the attack flashed through my mind and I knew I could not just give up. It was my fault this had happened. It was my responsibility to prevent as much destruction as possible. I turned away from the flames and walked away. I would find a way to beat this. There had to be a way for me not to be a monster. There had to be.

My first experiment was a dismal failure, but I was strong. I could carry on. There must be a solution.

I do not know how long I sat on the edge of the former village, trying to come up with ideas. Faint echoes stirred in my memory, and though I remembered where they were from, I could make no sense out of them. Still, I knew that somehow this was the key.

…_**you can choose.**_

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I'll try to be more consistent with my postings, but no guarantee…


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